Endings and Beginnings

Today is the last day of many things. The year 2009 is drawing to a close. Winter break is also sadly slipping away. But to me, the most significant milestone is the passing of a decade. The '00s will be over in less than 12 hours and I wonder what that means.

I like to find meanings and connections in things, to try to sort out the chaos of life, and find some direction in my existence. The end of each year is when I usually sit down to collect my experiences, and this year is no different. In fact, the feeling that one chapter of my life is closing is more potent than ever.

Ten years ago, on December 31, 1999, I remember sitting in anticipation for a new millennium to begin. I was just ten days shy of turning 10 years old and rockin' the bowl cut (back before my hair was curly), with a full decade behind me. I was living in Las Vegas, in a two bedroom apartment with my mom and 4 year old sister. The countdown was starting and I was half expecting to see some kind of massive explosion on TV when the Y2K bug heralded the end of the computer age at midnight. Of course, nothing happened.

At the close of this decade, I don't anticipate much more than the usual fireworks and festivities. But an internal change has already begun. A seed has been planted in my soul this year that I feel will blossom in 2010. I am no longer the carefree grade school kid I was ten years ago. A long decade of hardship, heartbreak, and learning has brought me here - to Flagstaff, to college, to being just 10 days shy of being one-fifth of a century old, and to being a man with a lot of responsibility on his shoulders. This year, I have found independence, I have found my true friends, I have found a niche in this crazy world, I have explored my passions, I have reawakened my spirituality, I have discovered what love really is, and I have felt healing take the place of pain.

I am, in essence, reborn. Like this new year, this new decade, I have a chance to start fresh. I can take the lessons I have learned with me and leave the old sorrows and habits behind. I have always perceived my life as a journey and after many years standing still at the fork in the path, I have made my choice. I have committed myself to a direction that Robert Frost once described as the road less taken, and it truly has made all the difference.

Where the Teens will take me in 2010 and beyond I will learn with time. For now, I am content to look back on the last 10 years with nostalgia and look toward the next ten years with hope.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

May your new year be happy and blessed, overflowing with the love of God. I'll see you next year.