Let me admit that my ways have not glorified God's name. I have harbored resentment in my heart. I have spoken ill of my friends and my enemies. I have followed the crowd when I should have stood firm. I have sinned. I have sinned so many times and so often that I hardly notice anymore; it is so ingrained in me that it has become habit.
I am broken. I am broken beyond words. I am a festering sore in the world, not a shining beacon of love. That is my problem. I have not loved. I have denounced my friends in the heat of the moment. I have not loved the way I am called to love. I am so wrong about so many things that I cannot begin to explain it.
I am arrogant, prideful, and convinced that only my way is correct. I need new eyes to see how very wrong I am. I need to make a 180 degree turn, because I am on a collision course with ruin.
To err is human. I accept that. I am humbled by that and by the fact that God always grants me a free gift of grace and a fresh start, no matter how many times I abuse it. I need to be humbled more often. I have lived a life of sin. I have polluted myself with my fickle emotions and quick, slashing rebukes.
I must live as your son lived and died, Oh God. I must be humble enough to carry the cross. I am not good at this, but I pray for the strength to try.
Let me be the first to say I'm sorry I let things go this far. Let me say that I'm sorry I didn't see the irony — that I did not see the answer to my questions in the very Bible I was trying to interpret. I cannot be as loving as Jesus, but I must strive to be more Christlike in all my interactions.
Create in me a new heart, Oh God. One that isn't swayed by ego or dubious morality. Let me be more like Jesus in all I say and do. Let me love your sons and daughters a ten thousandth as much as you do. I don't know why it took so long for me to get over myself and realize who you're calling me to be. I am broken and it is only through the mercy of God and following in the footsteps of Jesus that I can be made whole.
"I confess to almighty God,
and to you, my brothers and sisters,
that I have sinned through my own fault,
in my thoughts and in my words,
in what I have done,
and in what I have failed to do;
and I ask you, my brothers and sisters,
to pray for me to the Lord, our God."
and to you, my brothers and sisters,
that I have sinned through my own fault,
in my thoughts and in my words,
in what I have done,
and in what I have failed to do;
and I ask you, my brothers and sisters,
to pray for me to the Lord, our God."
- Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals
Let me be the first to say that I was wrong. I need the help of my Father in Heaven and of my brothers and sisters on Earth to get through this dark time. Please, pray for me.
